It's been awhile since I've had any time to myself. Time to just sit and...be. So I meandered over to the pool today to soak up some sun!
The pool in Victor Gardens (our town home development) has 'strict' rules. From 9am-10am in the morning, the only swimmers allowed in the pool are people who are there to work out and do laps. Which is actually really nice...those people can do their workouts and laps with no kids running and splashing and screaming. However, those people doing workouts and laps do not exist in Victor Gardens. SOooo... like I said, I was just meandering around and going for a little walk in the morning with my morning cup of coffee. I noticed that there wasn't a single soul in the pool. It was just nice and quiet and peaceful and sunny. Pretty tempting. So I went back home and got my keys for the pool, a towel, my phone and a pregnancy book that I'm reading. I sat down and got settled, looked up and saw this:
So I read a chapter of my book & drank some of my coffee. After that, I looked up again and saw this:
I kept thinking, "Should I be here? Maybe the pool is supposed to be closed for some reason and I just didn't know. It's summer vacation, right? Why aren't there any kids here?!"
Because on any given day in the summer, you can drive or walk past the pool and it's packed. If it's nice enough outside to have your windows open at home, you can hear the pool and all the people and kids and stuff. So I was super confused about why, on such a beautiful day it was dead. But, I wasn't complaining. I kept reading and finished my coffee and got some sun and RELAXED! It was amazing!
So after about 2 1/2 hours, I decided I'd better head back home. Getting overheated and not having water to drink isn't good for the baby. The vitamin D was great, but 2 hours+ is plenty! It was such a well deserved and beautiful morning for me, I don't think anything could bring me down today!
Hope everyone has a chance to take some time for themselves once in a while. Even if you think you have 'too much to do' or 'no time' or whatever...make time. Believe me, it is SO worth it!
I'm getting a little baby bump...finally! I'm 5 months pregnant, over half way there!
It has been 2 months since I've blogged last and for that, I am truly sorry. Not that my blogging is anything spectacular or something that any readers rely on day-to-day. But still, I do feel bad. Like I'm way behind on my assignments at school or something. But if it's any consolation, I do have a good 'excuse'.
My father lost his battle with cancer after 5 long years of fighting like a champion. It was Saturday, June 28th around 8am. The weeks before that, my 5 siblings and I stayed at the house around the clock 24/7 to care for him. When that got to be too much, we called on HealthEast Home Hospice Care to come help us out.
And I cannot say enough about them. I had heard such horror stories about home hospice care from a co-worker so I was really nervous about it. But we didn't have any other choice. Just before we got to this point, my dad was still able to understand and make his own decisions and he made it perfectly clear that he did NOT want to die in a hospital. And with the doctors telling us there was nothing more they could do for him, there was no way we were taking him out of his home where he was happy, comfortable and surrounded by more friends and family than I ever thought possible. We were introduced to my dad's 'team' - a nurse, an aide, a chaplain, and a social worker for the family. They all came to our house and explained their roles to us, asked if we had questions (which, with 7 Italians...of COURSE we had questions...and it became quite the Q & A session!). They sat with us for what seemed like an eternity and answered every last question until we were comfortable with everything. And all these people and services are completely free. We didn't have to pay for a thing! We are talking about nurses coming in to check vitals daily, to give him meds, to see what meds needed to be adjusted. Aides coming in the change his clothes, change his sheets, clean him up, try to get him to eat and drink. A chaplain coming in to pray with him, to pray with us. A social worker either calling or coming to our house to talk with us and check in constantly, making sure we were handling everything ok and that we didn't need anything. And if we DID need something, it was there within hours. Literally. A hospital bed, medications like morphine or other pain killers, a wheelchair...we said we needed it, it was there a few hours later. And I know it's their job to know about these illnesses and whatnot, but they were always one step ahead of us. They would kind-of warn us about something that 'might' happen soon and leave a new medication or instructions on what to do if it did happen. Sure as shit, the very next day we would encounter the exact thing we were warned about and we would be prepared for it and know what to do. They were amazing. I suggest HIGHLY considering HealthEast Home Hospice Care if it's available to you and if you are ever in a position that you would need it. I hope that you never are, but just in case...
Needless to say, this summer had to be the hardest summer of my life. Pregnant and watching my dad fight as hard as he could to live. You never believe that you could have this kind of strength when it comes to dealing with taking care of a parent as he/she is dying. My god, even now I don't even like to talk about it, write about it. But you just muster up this superhuman strength and do it. You almost don't even realize what you're doing it. I quit my job and made my dad my life. My sister and I would be up and at my parent's house by 5:30 or 6:00am each morning so my brothers (who were spending nights there) could get up and go to work. Then I would just get through the day. It meant listening to my dad talk about things that weren't happening and talking to people that were't there. I had to explain who I was, why I was there and who HE was, why HE was there. I had to change him when he needed it. I had to spoon feed him. I had to give him liquid soaked into a sponge because he couldn't always swallow on his own. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for him, he's my dad. And when you're going through it, you just do it. Sitting here looking back on it, I don't know how I did it. I did it without tears, and without question, and without complaint. But how? I feel like it was a whole different person that came out of me and did all that. I can't even THINK about ANYONE having to go through that, but I did. Somehow...I did.
My next post will be for my dad, my goodbye. Some old photos and memories. For now, please keep in mind that even when you think there is no way you can get through something - no matter what it might be - think again. You can surprise even yourself with the strength you hold inside yourself that you don't even know is there. It's there. And when you need it, it will present itself to you like a little gift from who-knows-where. Accept it. Then thank yourself later for such an amazing and powerful gift.
We've been married for 2 years. We've been together for 7 years! We've been through bad times as well as some of the BEST times of my life! He's my very best friend in the whole world and I'm so lucky to call him my Hubby! And now we get to add to our family of 3 and start a whole new adventure!
This year, we decided we just didn't have the money to go out and go crazy for our anniversary. We were just going to spend our weekend at home laying low and watching movies and doing nothing together.
When hubby got home from work, I had a surprise for him. 24 white balloons with 24 notes attached (24 for the 24 months we've been married).
We had a very nice weekend of relaxing together and just enjoying each other's company. We went to a casual dinner tonight to celebrate and I even had my first glass of wine since finding out we were expecting! Doctor said it was ok, so I went for it! It tasted SO good and it was a fun way to celebrate with my wonderful and amazing husband!
It's a GIRL!! We can't believe it! Everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - thought it was a boy. Including us... But then Mike & I both had dreams that it was a girl. I had one last week and he had one just 2 days ago! It's a little shocking, but we couldn't be happier!
We went to dinner and waited all of 10 minutes before opening the envelope. And there it was. An ultrasound picture with the words "It's a Girl!" on it! It's kind of weird, it feels like a whole different thing now that I know there's a baby girl in there! And it's fun to be able to say 'she' and 'her' now! We call her Baby Girl and I cannot wait to meet her!
Let me tell you...she sure likes to move and groove! She is constantly kicking and dancing and practicing her ninja moves in there. Hubby can feel it, too, which is amazing.
So now we get to look at names and nursery ideas and fun stuff like that! I will post a list of name options as soon as we come up with some, so watch for that! I do know this: We are using the quote from Shakespeare's, A Midsummer Night's Dream as inspiration for Baby Girl's...everything.
I want our little peanut to be strong and fierce! The same way I am and the same way her Auntie Jacey (Mike's sister) is! Baby Girl will have lots of strong women to look up to, including generations of strong-willed family members, especially her big sister!
Stay fierce, ladies!
Today's the day...we are finding out the gender of Baby Johnson! Mike comes to all of my ultrasound appointments, which I love. The look he gets on his face when that little peanut shows up on the screen is so precious.
We decided we are going to have the doctor put the gender in an envelope and then we're going to dinner and open it there. I have no idea how I'm going to hang onto that envelope all day and not open it. I better send it to work with hubby...I can't be trusted. Since I was little, I have had an issue with waiting to open things.
Mainly presents. Like at Christmas time, I would sneak down and open my presents and then reseal them without anyone ever knowing. I had it down to an art. The secret is being precise. Let me know if you want the instructions, I'd be happy to share with you!
But this is probably the best present I'll ever receive so I know I better send it with Mike. Or I will open it. 100%, no questions asked.
Check back tomorrow to find out the gender!!
I mentioned a week or so ago that I have been SO tired lately. Well, now we know why. This pregnancy is making me exhausted already! This...right here...my bed...my blankets....is all I think about all day long. The second I get out of bed, I'm constantly thinking about how badly I want to be cuddled back up again. Once I'm home from work, I make sure Hubby has something for dinner and I'm back in bed. I have zero appetite, so I literally make diner for Mike, shower and go to bed.
I called and found my OB doctor today, too! She was the doctor to one of my closest friends - Jules - and also my niece - Nikki - when they had their babies. They both LOVED her and I can't wait to meet her. I'm super excited that she took me. She wasn't taking new patients, but when I mentioned Jules and Nik, she was happy to take me on! I spent about 20-30 minutes speaking with one of her nurses. She was asking some questions and confirmed the due date of Christmas Day, which was the same as we calculated! I was able to ask about my fatigue and appetite and she said all of that is completely normal. I have an appointment set up for next week to meet with my nurse (I get to keep the same nurse throughout the entire pregnancy, which is super nice. She'll get to know me and my pregnancy).
So for now, I'm going back to my cozy bed. I might watch a little reality TV, but the most realistic scenario is that I will be dead to the world in about 30 minutes flat. So, goodnight, all...sweet dreams!
Happy May Day! I was never really properly educated in what May Day actually IS, so I've supplied you with a couple links so you can read up! I do, however, know that it is a tradition in both Europe and America to deliver 'May Baskets' to neighbors' doorsteps. The baskets could include flowers, treats or small gifts. While I am currently pre-occupied with the thoughts of carrying a child (CRAZY), I didn't do too much...though I feel like it's a really sweet and fun tradition that just isn't seen much anymore. I know as a kid, I used to do this every year! I still do it now, but I do it more for my family and friends rather than my neighbors. This year, I just brought some really pretty flowered cupcakes to my friends. Nothing crazy, just stopped at the bakery and picked up a little something. But they sure were pretty and still fun!